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Nursingdegrees > Nursing Articles > Humor > Doctors Charting

Doctors' Charting

A collection of documentation statements actually found on patient's charts during a recent review of medical records. These statements were written by various health care professionals including (we are afraid) a doctor or two at several major hospitals.

  • The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
  • The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
  • Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
  • The skin was moist and dry.
  • Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
  • The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunc
  • She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
  • Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
  • The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
  • I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
  • The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
  • Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
  • Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
  • She is numb from her toes down.
  • Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.
  • While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
  • The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
  • The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
  • Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
  • Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
  • Patient was alert and unresponsive.
  • When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

 

 

 

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